Just meh

This week hasn't been completely stellar, at least not yet.

The job hunt is going all right. Not great, not horrible.

We didn't work out Monday because both Kayle and I had had a pretty crappy day, so yesterday we just biked. It was short and not too intense. No abs.

Today is supposed to be an off day, but since we didn't do anything Monday, I've gotta double up today. Kayle has a big test and plans after, so I may have to do it all alone. We'll just have to see.

It's harder for me to motivate to do this right now. It was my "new challenge" when I was really happy in every other aspect of my life. Now, I have a whole new challenge (or old one, I guess) to deal with. I (only briefly) thought about holding off training until I found a job, but I thought that was silly. I need to be full steam ahead on this triathlon, it's just hard to motivate right now. I can't afford a tri fee, so we can't make anything official, which kind of sucks. But I should keep this going as a balancing aspect of my life. Working out really helps me relieve stress and having a specific goal and working toward that should (theoretically) help me too, right?

Update

So, where have I been? Mostly out of town. Partially hiding.

I have bad news to report. I lost my job because of 10% cutbacks with the company. They got rid of 26 people in my department alone, 16 of whom took early retirement. That's a large number of people gone and I'm not quite sure how they expect to function with so many missing. Anyway, the news came at the end of my 6 day week, right before I was heading out of town for my mom's birthday. I've never been one to define myself by my job, but I had an overwhelming sense of emptiness. I still do if I think about it, I suppose. I didn't really hear anything said in the meeting after, "This will be your last day here." The only way I can explain how I feel is to say it's like getting dumped after four months with someone. But someone who you really liked, thought you clicked well with and could really see a future with. You aren't devastated, but pretty heartbroken nonetheless. Except now you have no income.

I'm starting research and resume fixing and everything today. I'm hesitant to start because I've been avoiding it all for a while now. Wish me luck!

But on a lighter note, when I was out of town hanging out with my parents, I did most of my training for this week.

-Wednesday: We went on a 10-12 mile bike ride with small hills the whole way. I thought it was a great ride, but it definitely challenged me. Toward the beginning, there is a nasty hill, one which I'm not sure I've EVER made it up before, but I fought through it and slowly made it to the top. Yay! Except that I couldn't breathe. My throat hurt from trying to take in so much air and my lungs couldn't keep up. Well, still at least 9 miles to go...So we keep riding. The small hills just kept getting me. They weren't too much for my legs, but it never gave my lungs a chance to calm down. They were sore the whole time. Around the turn around mark there was another tough hill. Less steep, but long. I start up it and immediately think "I can't do this..." then, without missing a beat, I told my legs to stop whining and said I would make it up the hill, no matter what. Well, I did! I pushed through the leg pain, lungs and throat pain and the thousands of gnats hitting me in the face. I didn't get off. It was a small victory.

-Friday: We ran. I was feeling a little sick. Apparently, egg salad and chips aren't great pre-running food! Who would have thought? (Please note the sarcasm.) Anyway, I ran for a couple minutes after I felt like I was going to throw up. I pushed, but then we hit a row of restaurants and the smell was horrible! I felt so sick. My legs and lungs had caught up with me and were ready to run again, but my stomach was in knots. Finally, I convinced myself to move and ran a bit more. This happened most of the 3 miles. My stomach did calm down some. I was running probably a half mile (I guess less than that...?) at the end and I decided to "kick it in" as Kayle calls it. I started running with bigger strides and then I just kept running faster. I'm not really sure how I did it. My mom caught on when I passed her and "finally got her heart rate up" the 51-year-old woman tells me. She tried to catch up, which may have made me run faster. I was surprised at my sprint, but could barely breathe after. Woo!

-Saturday: I went on a short, maybe 4 mile or so ride, just because I needed to get another bike in this week. My legs were tired, but it wasn't too bad of a ride. Nothing exciting to report with it. I'm still short a swim and Kayle and I are running today sometime. That's it!

Wow, this is a long post that seemingly ends abruptly. Bummer.

Why do people do triathlons?

I know a few of the peopole who read this are training for one or thinking about it. Why? How'd you get the idea and what motivates you to keep going?

I was thinking about it all the other day. Why do it? It's a hassle, it's time consuming and it's often times not fun. Why do I do it?

Here's what I've come up with.

I've told you the Shad Ireland story. Well, there's more to it than that. I've always wanted to run a marathon. I've never been very athletic, so I thought it would be cool to say I'd completed something reserved for top athletes. But as I grew older, it became very clear to me how much I disliked running and I never wanted to spend that much time doing something I didn't like. My dad ran one a few years back and I thought he was awesome for it, but it still wasn't the thing for me. Another inspirational story: In the Spring my parents started training for a 5k. They ran one during the summer and my mom came in three minutes under her goal for 30:00, basically, quickened her speed by a minute a mile! Not only that, but she came in first in her age group! She was exhausted fater finishing and it wasn't until she got some powerade and fruit in her that she got excited. Anyway, we are so proud of her and she felt so great after! I thought, "I want that."

I've always been a dancer, and I loved performing the most. Having the people you care about come out and see you show off what you've been working so hard for is just the greatest ever! I wanted it again and I wanted it to be something hard and uncommon that no one I knew had done, something athletic. The afternoon after my mom's race I started looking into triathlon's and realized I could do a Sprint distance. It would take training and would be hard, but it was doable. As often happens with me, however, I gave up a few days later.

Shad brought it back.

But it's more than all that even. I think I wanted, needed, a goal. Something to work hard for in my spare time. Something with a clear ending, achievement. I graduated from college, which I'd been working toward really my whole live, but four years officially. I got a job and, while there's a definite goal and chance to move up, it's nothing specifically 'do A and you'll get B.' I've always had some goal I was working toward, and in August I didn't anymore. I found it and I'm so stoked about it. I get to do something that top athlete's do, but doesn't require 3-4 hours or so of running! You should always have a goal, something to work toward in free time, something you've never done, something with a specific ending or accomplishment, something new to conquer. What are you working toward right now?

Double day

We doubled up. It felt great.

We biked around neighborhoods, not really going anywhere specific. We followed a "bike path," which really just meant signs said it was a path, but instead, it was just a street with houses on both sides. It was a nice ride, especially because we explored new territory. It was low intensity, but not easy. We got a little lost at the end, so we ended up riding for nearly an hour until we made it to the pool...

We swam. It was good swim. I swam longer than ever before without stopping, which is way fun. 300 yards at one time, 950 total. Kayle did great swimming, too. She said today she thinks she's improving, which is really good!

After swimming, we rode the mile or so back to Kayle's apartment and did abs. I was tired, but I felt great.

I'm getting really into this triathlon thing the past few days because my workouts have been so good. Running yesterday wasn't too bad...I'm getting there! I've just felt good about this...

We're starting to pick our tri. We're thinking about this one in Galveston in April...but I'll be sure to keep you posted when we finalize it. Registration's coming up we think...

Inspiration

It's interesting how much people you've never met can do for you.

I've developed a relationship with a few of the bloggers I read about. They are awesome. They are inspirational, determined and help me stay motivated. Most of them are working out or training for a triathlon like me, but some have other interests of mine and are strong in a different way. I just love reading their blogs...and of course the blogs of two (kind of three) of my favorite people in the world - my sister and my best friend! Thank you all for everything!

I'd like to share another story, however, of someone I know practically nothing about, but he makes me smile every week.

I work weird shifts, so I only work Thursday and Friday during the actual work week. Both those mornings, I get off the highway and look for a certain man. He's walking with dumbbells both those mornings around 9 a.m. along the street. It's gotten to the point where I look for him, judge how late I am around him and get disappointed if I don't see him. A few weeks ago, I didn't see him either day and I got really worried something had happened to him. Perhaps he was sick or running late that week or something...he's since been back, and I always smile when I see him. I don't see him during the weekend, though. I come an hour later and exit on a different exit but he may still exercise those days, I'm not sure. I think he is awesome getting out there every day and doing that. Maybe he doesn't have money for a gym or equipment, but he's determined to work out and is consistent about it. I think that's why I always smile. I actually look forward to seeing him. I just think it's interesting how much a person you've never talked to, know nothing about, can be so influential.

Yesterday

I didn't feel well...all day. I had a headache and waves of nausea lasting into the late evening. I decided not to run because it continued to flare up. We are supposed to run today, too. Somehow, I'll have to figure out a way to make up for yesterday. I feel better today, though, somewhat.

Skinny mini me!

Yesterday, Nick told me I looked "skinny-mini," which is what we say in my family when someone's lost weight and looks thinner. That made me really happy! I weighed myself this morning and saw that I've lost five pounds since I started! I'm still five away from my pre-Spain weight (I went to Spain summer of 2007 and ate so much, especially bread and ice cream, and I came back 10 pounds heavier and haven't been able to shake it.), and 10 away from what I really want to weigh, but it's awesome.

I haven't changed my eating pattern really. I'm always trying to eat better than I do but never hard enough it seems. I haven't increased the amount I eat either though, so that's good. (Except I ate a big dinner...it was so good...but I feel bloated right now...)

I know I'll put on muscle, so I'm prepared to never weigh my "ideal" weight as long as I look like I do! It seems I'm making strides and that's really great. I feel better about this all. It may not be much of a change, but Nick noticed and he's not the most observant guy in the world! Thanks for the ego boost, hon!