New thoughts, priorities

First off, I want to tell you about today. Bittersweet run, I suppose. I went out at lunch today, determined to run 3.1 miles without stopping to prove I can do this race Saturday (I've got a 5k!). My legs hurt (I biked/ran for 80 minutes yesterday), especially on hills, but I kept running. My knees started really bothering me, but I ignored them. I ran the first mile (hills) in 11 minutes. If I could keep that pace, I would more than beat my best 5k (and the only one I've ran completely). The second mile, all flat mind you, took me about 14 minutes. Not so good. I was hoping to get in at 35 minutes (like December's 5k), but halfway through the final mile (again, hills) I stopped for maybe two-tenths of a mile because I was about the throw up. I knew if I threw up, I wouldn't have the energy to run the rest of the way and my time would suffer. It's discouraging that I had to walk. I sped up for the final half mile, hoping to make up for some lost time. I had to force myself to keep my breakfast down when it was all over...and I came in at 38 minutes, which is one minute slower than the 5k I "raced" and walked half of. Talk about discouraging! How do I walk faster than I run? I mean, really! How is this fair? Why do I struggle so much? I was really glad I could run most of the way, since I haven't been able to before or after my December 5k, but bummed I HAD to stop...and that time! Gah! Any advice?

On a better note, my race is in less than seven weeks, and I'm completely unprepared! My biking is sad, my running is slow and I take extra breaths when I turn around every 25 meters in the swim and I'm worried that, couple with the open water swim I've never practiced, will be the death of me (although, hopefully not literally). I told you this was a better note, right? Well, I can't go into this thing unprepared...especially since I've been working at it since the summer! It's going to have to become a higher priority. I mean, I've left work late at night to run and then head back, and I've given it almost every night of my life for months, but somehow, it's not good enough. I need more outside time, daylight time, real practice time. No more gym stuff when possible, especially on my bike! Even if I have to leave work everyday at 5 p.m. and then go back to work to finish my stories and hours. That's just what I'll have to do for seven weeks until this race is out of the way! As much as I'd love to, I just can't do mornings, so evenings it is! Fortunately, daylight savings is next week, so I'll have another hour to enjoy the day. Warmth is coming soon, too. I can't let Nick or anything distract me in the next few weeks. I'm even planning on concentrating on my eating and making sure I get the right kind of stuff for the best performance. I've worked too hard and spent too many hours on this (not to mention the amount of money that's been spent on me for gear!) to go in unprepared or not at my best. Please, help me keep motivated!