Sunday, October 12, 2008


So, where have I been? Mostly out of town. Partially hiding.

I have bad news to report. I lost my job because of 10% cutbacks with the company. They got rid of 26 people in my department alone, 16 of whom took early retirement. That's a large number of people gone and I'm not quite sure how they expect to function with so many missing. Anyway, the news came at the end of my 6 day week, right before I was heading out of town for my mom's birthday. I've never been one to define myself by my job, but I had an overwhelming sense of emptiness. I still do if I think about it, I suppose. I didn't really hear anything said in the meeting after, "This will be your last day here." The only way I can explain how I feel is to say it's like getting dumped after four months with someone. But someone who you really liked, thought you clicked well with and could really see a future with. You aren't devastated, but pretty heartbroken nonetheless. Except now you have no income.

I'm starting research and resume fixing and everything today. I'm hesitant to start because I've been avoiding it all for a while now. Wish me luck!

But on a lighter note, when I was out of town hanging out with my parents, I did most of my training for this week.

-Wednesday: We went on a 10-12 mile bike ride with small hills the whole way. I thought it was a great ride, but it definitely challenged me. Toward the beginning, there is a nasty hill, one which I'm not sure I've EVER made it up before, but I fought through it and slowly made it to the top. Yay! Except that I couldn't breathe. My throat hurt from trying to take in so much air and my lungs couldn't keep up. Well, still at least 9 miles to go...So we keep riding. The small hills just kept getting me. They weren't too much for my legs, but it never gave my lungs a chance to calm down. They were sore the whole time. Around the turn around mark there was another tough hill. Less steep, but long. I start up it and immediately think "I can't do this..." then, without missing a beat, I told my legs to stop whining and said I would make it up the hill, no matter what. Well, I did! I pushed through the leg pain, lungs and throat pain and the thousands of gnats hitting me in the face. I didn't get off. It was a small victory.

-Friday: We ran. I was feeling a little sick. Apparently, egg salad and chips aren't great pre-running food! Who would have thought? (Please note the sarcasm.) Anyway, I ran for a couple minutes after I felt like I was going to throw up. I pushed, but then we hit a row of restaurants and the smell was horrible! I felt so sick. My legs and lungs had caught up with me and were ready to run again, but my stomach was in knots. Finally, I convinced myself to move and ran a bit more. This happened most of the 3 miles. My stomach did calm down some. I was running probably a half mile (I guess less than that...?) at the end and I decided to "kick it in" as Kayle calls it. I started running with bigger strides and then I just kept running faster. I'm not really sure how I did it. My mom caught on when I passed her and "finally got her heart rate up" the 51-year-old woman tells me. She tried to catch up, which may have made me run faster. I was surprised at my sprint, but could barely breathe after. Woo!

-Saturday: I went on a short, maybe 4 mile or so ride, just because I needed to get another bike in this week. My legs were tired, but it wasn't too bad of a ride. Nothing exciting to report with it. I'm still short a swim and Kayle and I are running today sometime. That's it!

Wow, this is a long post that seemingly ends abruptly. Bummer.



I love your blogs, looking forward to future updates.

Rob said...

Sorry to hear about your job. Hope all is OK with you though. It's nice seeing that you haven't given up on your goals. Keep it up and I'm sure with a positive outlook you'll again find that job and people you love.