(This post better be freaking awesome because I've been fighting with the computer/Internet for more than 30 minutes...)
Nick and I decided to host a New Years party this year. Last year, we spent it just with our good friend Sean, but we decided to get more people involved this time around. Long story short, it ended up being us, Sean and another good friend of mine. Not quite a party. I should mention I tend to just have a few good friends and not a huge group of others. That's just my MO, and Nick's pretty much the same. As for the party, my best friend couldn't make it because she'd had surgery earlier that week and Nick's friends bailed, as did most of those I invited. It was extremely disappointing to me, and it made me realize where I was in that part of my life. (I'm not looking for you to be sorry for me. I've been "uncool" all my life and totally accepted it years ago.) Basically, I need to emphasize friends this year, I've decided.
I also have realized recently that I have become distant with some of the people I'm close to. My first order of business is to try to reforge those friendships and bonds because frankly, they are more important to me than anyone new. Next, I'm going to make a big push to add some people to my list of friends. Especially someone fairly local. (My boyfriend is 45 minutes away, my best friend about 3 hours, my family is about 2 hours away, and my other good friends are either one hour or three away...) I'm not trying to win a Miss Popular award or anything, but you get what I'm saying, right?
It's been something I've been thinking about in the last week or so, and I wanted to share.Any advice?
And because I'm so into goals these days, Nick and I have set a goal to have more people celebrating the beginning of 2011 with us. ;-p
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4 comments:
Most people (cool, or not) go through something like what you're going through after college. You're definitely not alone.
My experience with grown-up friendships is that it's all about scheduling, and targeting people who are in a similar place in life to be friends with.
You guys will do well.
My wife and I are really outgoing and decided that instead of gifts to our friends we would host a great holiday party at a fantastic location. We invited about 40 couples and 5 showed. Bad timing, whatever. But I felt the same blow you did.
It sucks and there isn't much you can do about the feeling. Most had good excuses of why they skipped, but still.
Stay in touch with your good friends and drop the hanger-oners. It will simplify your life! We decided to focus on about 10 families we know and make sure we either do something with them or talk with them once a month at least. It has opened up our schedules from parties and events we do not really want to attend. It is really nice.
I can relate to this 100%. I've been going through something fairly similar for about 2 years (since I moved back "home" after having been gone for 6 years in school). It's rough but slowly getting better. i think it's one of those things that takes time.
I have gone through this at different times in my life and I totally understand where you are coming from. I think Mike said it so well, drop the ones that are just hang-ons and keep the good eggs. I know that while I have less friends than most people, I have great friends (and best of all no drama) which makes it all worth it.
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